Prinews recently wrote an article that is in complete agreement with Howie Glasser, the originator of the Nurtured Heart Approach.

“Imagine if you only give children your attention when there is a problem with behavior.  This is guaranteed to make them want to look for more attention by behaving badly.  Bad behavior means getting attention and noticed.

Contrast that with spending prime time with your child and rewarding him with love and affection and especially reinforcing this when good behavior is evident.  Good behavior is then associated with positive feelings and bonding is strengthened.”

This is in keeping with what Howie Glasser has advocated.  He often says you don’t water the weeds.  In another words you are not going to give energetic attention to your children when they misbehave.  This is like watering the weeds.  These weeds of bad behavior then will grow.  Both Prinews and Howie Glasser agree.  Save the affection, attention, and energy for the good behavior.  Too often, children feel they are invisible when they are behaving well.  Let’s start watering the flowers instead of the weeds!

Dear Reader,

This blog is about ADHD therapy.  I advocate one that I think has been particularly effective.  ADHD is a neuro-behavioral developmental disorder characterized by inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness. It begins before age 7 and lasts for at least 6 months. The three characteristics of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness permeate the child’s life, that is you can see these characteristics in school, at home, in the playground, and other social settings. There is never a time that they are without these characteristics.

I am specifically writing about ADHD therapies for children and not for adults, although if I find something about adults that is particularly interesting, I would like to share it with you.  My bias is to advocate an approach without medications.

I am a mental health and chemical dependency counselor.  When I first started treating ADHD, I felt that medication was essential and I insisted on it.  Since then, I learned the Nurtured Heart Approach and became aware of how effective that was without medications.  The Nurtured Heart Approach basically accepts the child as s/he is and channels all their energy and hyperactivity into good behavior.  I saw this with my own nephew when he was younger.  He did horrible in school because he could not sit still, but as a working teenager he was looked upon favorably by the manager because when there was nothing to do, he would clean or find something to do because he just could not sit still.  So, there are some definite advantages to having ADHD if the child can learn to channel those energies into good behavior.  The parents are very instrumental in teaching those skills.  The question arises on how to teach those skills.

When I would teach parents skills, their main concern was parenting discipline.  After dealing with many parents and many ADHD children, I think the parenting discipline is secondary, and not the primary concern.

I will continue to explore these ideas with you, dear reader.  I would like to invite you to participate in this conversation by giving me your feedback.  What have you tried?  What has worked for you?  Do you agree with what I write?  Do you disagree?  Let us start the conversation.