Water the Flowers and Not the Weeds

Prinews recently wrote an article that is in complete agreement with Howie Glasser, the originator of the Nurtured Heart Approach.

“Imagine if you only give children your attention when there is a problem with behavior.  This is guaranteed to make them want to look for more attention by behaving badly.  Bad behavior means getting attention and noticed.

Contrast that with spending prime time with your child and rewarding him with love and affection and especially reinforcing this when good behavior is evident.  Good behavior is then associated with positive feelings and bonding is strengthened.”

This is in keeping with what Howie Glasser has advocated.  He often says you don’t water the weeds.  In another words you are not going to give energetic attention to your children when they misbehave.  This is like watering the weeds.  These weeds of bad behavior then will grow.  Both Prinews and Howie Glasser agree.  Save the affection, attention, and energy for the good behavior.  Too often, children feel they are invisible when they are behaving well.  Let’s start watering the flowers instead of the weeds!